if i died would you start the facebook group?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
