Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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