FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize