i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
