I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
