Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no you cant smoke seaweed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize