im holly from the hills drunk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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