Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
