kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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