I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
