I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
