She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
