At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
