my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
