i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
