It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
