Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize