ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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