Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
