someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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