Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
