I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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