how can u be prego again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
