kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
