Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do herpes really smell.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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