girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
