she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize