He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
