She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
