I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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