Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry VanaMuffin hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

Fav 30 1254 4065
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

Fav 16 4287 4331
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(956): View more from Texas

Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity

Fav 36 1235 6344
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.

Fav 16 6850 1369
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

(734): View more from Michigan

She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

Fav 33 1362 3256
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

Fav 2 3696 1058
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

Fav 7 2043 995
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen

Fav 1 336 528
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym

Fav 0 101 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT