I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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