Swine flu. Run for my life!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
