i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
