I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
