i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
