So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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