and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
