the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
