I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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