I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
