Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
