I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
