Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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