You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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