I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize