Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
