I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
