i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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