It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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