During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I could make wine with my vomit
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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