brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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