Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
