READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
