the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
