It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
