But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
