When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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