I'm really into asian looking animals
Having a random hookup so left but love u
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
