you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
